New goal :')

Bismillah.

I barely know this young kind hearted person. But since everyone is talking and writing about him, how good, kind and humble he was during his life, I can say that, he is special and has special place in our hearts. And I said to someone, "Hebat kan dia, benda yang baik baik je dengar pasal dia." and my friend replied, "Harapnya kita nanti pun macam tu la."

Yup.  Semua orang mengharapkan perkara yang sama. Mengharapkan benda yang baik baik sahaja akan diperkatakan dan diingati orang bila tiba masanya. Perasaan itu, walaupun kita tak pernah jumpa atau kenal dengan rapat, tapi pemergian dia meninggalkan kesan yang mendalam. Sayu. Namanya disebut sebut penduduk dunia, dan penduduk langit. Bukan kah kita semua mengharapkan benda yang sama?

Someone wrote on facebook,' Kalau kita rasa sayu dengan pemergian seseorang walaupun kita tak kenal, mungkin ada amalannya yang sangat hebat semasa hidupnya atau hebatnya hubungan dia dengan Allah.' Subhanallah. Kagum. Yes, I know, waktu zaman sahabat memang ramai orang yang macam tu, tapi sekarang ni, rasa susah sangat nak jumpa orang yang macam tu.
Jum jadi macam dia?

Saturday rant

I never said that we are being islamic. It's just we are trying and struggling to be better each time. We tried and still trying. And do you even know, how hard it is for us? Nope, you didn't. Coz you never ever be in our shoes. Not the same test, not the same struggle.

-cloudy saturday afternoon-

:|

Today, he said that he texted my mom already. And it's funny how he wrote to my mon in full spelling while mom just using shortform. 🙊

And yeah, he save my name as 'Yana-poland' :|

Love :')

I read an article on facebook. It's basically said about a relationship, I means 'couple','love relationship' before marriage. And the writer said, no matter how much you love someone in this dunya, and then you guys end up doing haraam things, well, at the akhirah, you and the one that you loved will hate each other so much. Like you guys will blame each other for all the sins, and ask Allah to let each other enter the hell instead.

Well. Trust me, I'm so touched with this article. This dunya not a forever place for us. Can you imagine, you really love someone right now, and you think this is your true love but at the end, she or he, just will be the person that you hate the most on the judgement day! Sad indeed :'(

My love is bigger than that. I do not want to hate you. I love you now, and I want to love you forever, until jannah. I do not want to be your greatest enemy on the judgement day. I do not want to drag you to the worst place ever. I'm not perfect, not even strong or kind. But I will try. Because I love you. And I miss you. I pray to Him, to ease our journey. To take a good care of you. And me. Well, 'Doa itu penghubung yang paling kuat' - Schubert's Serenade,Hlovate. Have faith.

May Allah ease. Forgive us ya Allah. Amin.

So random, love :)

Sayang :)

For me, sayang or love, is so subjective. Well, everyone has their own definition of love.
And to me, love, I don't even think that I can describe precisely what love means to me. Maybe it's better to feel than to describe by words.

But what most important part for me, love means forever. It's means you wanna be with the person that you love, forever. And forever means, heaven :)

Which means, you wanna be in heaven. And you want the person that you love be in there too. So that you and your love can live happily ever after.

So, in conclusion, love means working and helping each other to be better every single day. Improving each day. Learn to love Him together. And most important thing, we have the same goal, we want to enter jannah, together :)

It's really okay :)

You can't be happy by hurting others sayang :)

Always be kind. Especially to those you love.  Put away your ego. It's okay to start the conversation. It's okay to admit your fault. It's okay to show affection, show how much you love or miss them. Tell them how much they mean to you, they can't read mind. At least, you are not going to regret when the chance is gone. You will not :)

Be honest. Do not lie. Lies just will break trust. It's make people apart.

They said the one that love more, will hurt more. Trust me sayang, it's okay to be the one that love more. Hurt more. At least the one that you love did not hurt that much :)
Be selfless. Will you?

Did you ever heard,'Hati kita, Allah yang pegang' ?
Make dua'. Pray. Ask him. May we love someone that mean to be ours :')

That HE put you in this kind of situation, trust me. HE will guide you through this. Trust Him.

After all, kesayangan. We got nothing to loss right? As it's not ours in the first place.
But why did it feels like, we loss something that not even ours :')

Why :)

I'm not ready. Are you? :)

I watched a hindustan movie on prima today. It's a deep, yet funny movie. I would say it's a quite sad movie, or to be exact, scary.

I mean, how scary a marriage life can be. What if, after married, one of us fall for another person? Yup, it's sounds awful, or 'menjijikkan'. You are married, then how can you fall in love with another person. Right?
But did we choose to fall in love in the first place? Nope, I will say no.

Now that many people are in relationship, yet they fall for another person. And trust me, many of us will blame them.

But, my dear. Did we choose to fall in love? Again, I will say no.
 Heart thingy is hard to understand :)
You did not choose to fall, you just fall.

Am I supporting this kind of situation? No, I just do not know what is the right thing to do to be exact.
What if, my partner fall for another person? Yup, I will hurt. Mad, sad, betrayed and so on. And what if, I'm the one who fall for another person? It's still hurt I guess.
A norm, does not mean that it's right.

Kesayangan. It is worse if you are married, then your heart wavers :')
Marriage is not something that can be broken easily. And to think how scary it can be, trust me, I'm not ready yet :)

Boo :)

Emm :)
I read '13 signs he's your Mr.Right' article that I found on facebook. I'm not even surprise that my boo has almost all of those signs.

Feel safe. Know each other's family. Be yourself. You communicate. There is little to no drama. And so on.
But the very first sign is, 'You're happy'.
Am I happy? :)
Well, I don't even know.

The fact that we know for too long, 6 years I would say, trust me I can write a book about him. All of this years together, I saw how he's changing. Change to a better person I believe. And I'm glad :)

He treats me well. He never let me do something hard. He treats me so like 'budak budak' :')
He called me 'mot' too often that I think that's why I'm still comot at this age.
He stares at me with shining eyes, that sometimes I feel like a princess.


He never fail to make me happy on my birthday. On my 19th birthday, he even came to my hostel at 12 pm with flowers and bear :)

He's a hardworking one. He works nonstop. Day and night. Weekdays and weekend. Yet he still manage to wish me morning as he wakes up. He will spend his precious time for me before he sleeps. He hear me. He ask me. To be honest, I rarely keep any secret from him. I would say, he know me the most :)

He's so kind. He's value a relationship so much. Even while I'm writing this, he said that he just got a news that his bestfriend's father just pass away and he's going to hospital at 1.45 am :')
And did you know what he said to me, "It's okay, I'm still can text you, I'm not driving"
He is comforting me.


There is no such perfect person. But I'm afraid, he might close to. To lost such person, I will say, it's a pity.

But. There is just small mistake that he made. He's not been there, for a very short moment. That I'm so upset. That I think, I started to lost. My heart wavers. For those short moment, sometimes I regret.

Am I happy? I do not know.

:)