Emptiness

Most of the days, it's feel so empty. I start to wonder, how everyone goes through every single day. Did everyone happy and enjoy their life? Because I'm not. I miss how carefree i was back then. When I have nothing to scare, and I enjoyed living my life on my own way. I was happy back then. I start to realize, there are less and less things that I find enjoying to do. I started to feel happy less. The happiness is so temporary and on several occasions. Others that that, it's feel so miserable.  Adulthood is indeed a loneliness and emptiness, at least for me. It is suffocating.

An adult

A year had passed since the last time I wrote in this blog. I am so nervous and scared, as I was trying to recall the link for the blog, and I struggled to remember my previous phone number which was linked to this email. I am not able to sign in for more than one hour, but I am glad that I did not give up and keep trying. I thought that I will not be able to write anymore.

I am 25 years old. At this age, I realized that it is time to stop listening to others' opinion when they do not matter to me. It is always human that cause another human to be disappointed. I try to be happy, despite when others do not feel happy with me. And I decided not to try hard pleasing those who did not deserve it. I will treat them exactly how they treat me. After all, I am not an angel.

This year will be my final year in med school. In 9 months, I will finally leave Warsaw and back to Malaysia for good i.Allah. This year is the hardest year for me. To be in a long distance relationship with my husband, it is an another big challenge.  They might not know, or they do not even care. To be honest, 7 years is too long and tiring. 

I wish I can write more and regularly. Because people change with time. And without I am realizing, I am changing too.